Avoidance: Not Good For Men or Horses

My husband's theory about riding any horse: don't avoid the things that bother him, it will only make it worse. 

Riding through the trees, he breaks off big branches instead of going around. If he's on a colt who's bothered by the rope, he just keeps playing with it and swinging it til that colt is comfortable.

Shy on the ground? Well, he just marches up to them and does whatever he needs to do. No sneaking around flighty colts for this guy.

I find this theory applies well to people, too. Avoiding uncomfortable subjects or conversations just makes feelings fester and puts more pressure on you.

Avoiding facing your fears will only make you more afraid. 

Avoiding taking the jump you know you should to change your life will only make it that much harder in the long run.

The point of avoidance is, it's all in your head. Just like a colt afraid to cross a stream, whatever the obstacle is in your life is rarely as bad as you think it is. Be bold, and take the jump!

XO, The Cowboy's Wife 

He Is Risen!

What do you do to keep something that's special to you close to your heart? A tattoo that's a special reminder? A necklace with someone's name? A mother's ring to keep your children close to you always? 

Think of how you feel about this special person, or place, or whatever it may be. 

You want to memorialize it. Remember it. Think of it always.

Now think about the Savior. What means the most to Him? I believe it is each of us. How does he keep us close to His heart? He died for you and for me, to save our souls and save us from our sins. He imprinted us on His hands. The scars on His hands, feet, and side are a constant reminder to Him and to us of the unfathomable, incomparable love He has for each and every one of us.

How has the Savior shown His hand in your life? 

He has shown me that he truly, truly knows ME. Parts of me that I hardly know myself. He knows that I'm a sentimental dreamer, and He has shown many times that He knows this about me and CARES about that aspect of my soul. Words aren't enough to depict how that makes me feel. He knows me so well, and getting to know Him has been and continues to be one of the greatest joys of my life.

Because He loves us so much, He died for us, and He is Risen! Because He conquered death, we can grasp eternal life with our loved ones! I can't think of anything more worthy of memorializing and keeping close to our hearts than that. Nobody can ever do more for you than your Savior. Don't forget to remember Him, and find a way to memorialize His saving act in your life. Don't forget to look for all the ways He continues to save you every day. Happy Easter, Ya'll. He is Risen!

XO, The Cowboy's Wife

New Year Goals

After a lot of careful thought, my word for the New Year is Prevail.

This word has a lot of meaning to me in different aspects of my life.

First, I am determined to let the Lord prevail in my daily life. Purposeful seeking out of His word and Spirit will be one of my biggest goals. Temple attendance, scripture study, family home evening will all be things I consider priorities instead of something I know I SHOULD be doing.

Second, my goal is to prevail in whatever I set out to do. I am determined to prevail over my anxiety and occasional depressive moods by stopping the procrastinating, sticking to a good daily routine, and taking care of myself.

I am determined to prevail in my business ventures by having fortitude, determination, and self discipline. This is going to be the year we change our lives for ourselves. The year we make our family stronger and closer. The year we make faith filled and fearless decisions to make our dreams come true. And we will prevail! 

I hope you all prevail in whatever you're facing this year. ❤️

XO, The Cowboy's Wife

Story Snippets: The Days are Long

Today wasn't easy. Like a lot of days as a mama with two rambunctious toddlers. The girl dried her tears of exhaustion and frustration and finished folding the laundry.

Even living right on a ranch, you don't get to do a lot of the ranch work when you have two kids under three and there's a foot of snow outside. 

She thought back on her day of wiping noses and bottoms, picking up the tipped-over Christmas tree at least twice, trying to entertain two kids excited for Christmas, doing the laundry and the dishes and sweeping and mopping and....

Sometimes she just wanted to escape for a few minutes. To go shovel snow or work her dog or groom a horse or two. But the kids wouldn't nap today, and by the time she got them all bundled up and outside, she was exhausted. The littlest tipped over in the snow and cried because he was cold. The older one ran off through the snow and wouldn't come back. After she chased him down, got the animals fed, and both kids back inside, she just wanted to collapse. From exhaustion. From frustration. But there was still dinner to make, so she just kept going.

By the time her husband came home, she wasn't even in a mood to speak to anyone. She knew he didn't understand why. Or deserve the attitude he was getting from her. But today was just one of those days...

The best she could do was feed everyone and send them to bed. She stayed up alone to fold the laundry and have a few moments of peace, knowing she'd be more tired for it in the morning but not knowing how else to cope. Then she climbed the stairs, weary to the bone and just needing a break. 

Then she snuck into her babies' rooms...and her mama heart was full of love and gratitude. The little one with his beautiful blonde curls, asleep like a little stink bug with his feet tucked up under him. The big one gave her a sleepy smile and murmured "love you Mama" as she tucked the blankets around him. Her husband was half asleep but hugged her to him as she climbed into bed. And she couldn't help but feel so grateful for these people who loved her so much, and so unconditionally. How lucky was she to have three people that always wanted her company and her attention? So no, it definitely wasn't easy today. But the love made it all worth doing again.

Story Snippets: Perspective

The girl stopped the truck and got out for what seemed like the millionth time today. It was an unusually warm day for December, and she couldn't help but be concerned about the weather. If they had another year like last year....

She handed her babies a snack in the backseat and promised it would only be a minute this time.

Unloading her tired mare from the trailer, she said, "Hopefully the last time today old girl."

She patted the dog on the back of the truck, apologizing that he couldn't come this time, but he should really stop getting in fights with porcupines.

She tightened her cinch and climbed up on her tall dun mare. They were getting a few stragglers off the mountain today... the ones that were missed in the gather for a reason. Those dang cows couldn't have just gone down the road and through the gate. As they climbed the steep hill, all she heard was the music of her spur catching the brush and her mare's footfalls and heavy breathing."I know you're tired old gal. As soon as we get to the top of the hill, we'll know what the rest of our day is going to look like." 

She thought about what that meant in a general sense. How you can't see what's about to happen or what's around you when you're in the thick of it, but everything is made clear on top of the hill.

As they reached the summit, relief flooded over the girl. There was a fence at the top of the hill. Those wild old cows were just standing there, and she pushed them back along the fence, down the hill, and through the gate. 

As she loaded her horse back on the trailer and let her babies out of the truck to play while they waited for her husband, she thought about their way of life. It was sure hard some days, but she couldn't think of anything else that could offer a person quite such a great perspective or such a hell of a view.

If the Shoe Fits

My best friend posted a quote on social media a while ago. I don't know who said it, but the quote was,

"You're not overwhelmed. You're lazy and unorganized." 

And wow. How direct and to the point. Some might say it is rude or tactless, but I'm a very direct person and it's exactly what I needed. 

It wasn't directed at me, but it was an "if the shoe fits" kind of situation. And it definitely fit.

I have two boys. Toddlers. They're wild and crazy and keep me on my toes. They exhaust me. It is a lot harder to go do all the things I want to do with them in tow, so I tend to make a lot of excuses.

And I've been putting off all the things I know I need to do in order to be successful in my endeavors. 

This quote, this one simple thing, it has been saving me from myself.

I already knew I was in my own way and lacking in self discipline, but this helped me put in perspective what I need to do on a daily basis to change that.

I'm being more intentional about creating good habits, and doing the things that make me feel good; going for a walk in the morning instead of letting my kids watch cartoons, cooking breakfast immediately instead of putting it off while scrolling social media, checking the horses, letting Tell ride his dang pony, exercising when I put the boys down for a nap, taking my supplements every day, making my bed as soon as I get up, keeping the floor swept and messes picked up as much as possible with my tornadoes. 

They're small things. I was so focused on the big things that I want to, but am unable to do at this point in time, that I forgot the small habits make the biggest difference.

If you're in that place too, I have a little piece of advice. Get out of your own dang way. Write down on a paper the things you should do every day, every week, every month. Shower, get dressed, and put your face on in the morning even if you have nowhere to go. It makes all the difference!

Stop being lazy, and get organized! 

XO, The Cowboy's Wife

That Pivotal Moment

The moment I first felt like a mother...

I wouldn't highlight it as the moment I first felt baby kick.

Or the moment when I first heard that wonderful cry.

Or the moment when they laid my beautiful boy on my chest.

I wouldn't even say it was when we were finally all home as a family.

I recall very early on in my pregnancy, (I was probably 5 or 6 weeks along) I was riding through my father-in-law's field on a colt with my husband. Now, it wasn't a bad colt and he wasn't super green. But I also recall it being the only time I was truly afraid on a horse. He got a little silly about crossing a ditch and I burst into tears.

Tyrell had no idea what to make of this, never having had to worry about me on a horse before.

The difference this time is that I wasn't worried about myself. I was worried about the tiny child growing inside of me, despite the fact the only evidence was a pregnancy test and I'm not sure Ty quite believed it was true! 

That was the moment. 

It was a pivotal moment of huge change in my life, one I will always remember.

My normally fearless, I'll-try-anything-once self had turned into something else entirely.

Suddenly my brain was working overtime thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

That hasn't really stopped since then. Now, I have two little ones to worry about. 

Isn't that what being a mother is all about? Constantly thinking of someone else's needs, worrying about someone else's well being? 

I sometimes miss being able to live in the moment more, to be fearless, to be willing to try anything. But I wouldn't trade my babies, or the person I've become because of them, for the world. 

XO, The Cowboy's Wife