A Quarter of a Century Ago

You watch her bounce a baby on her hip while another little one runs loose around you. She hums to the baby to soothe him and grabs the wild, outstretched arm of the toddler as he runs by. He screams and stomps his feet with discontent. 

You think back on all the memories you have like this of you with your babies...at the time overwhelming and now nostalgic. You'd give anything to have those days back again, if only for a little while. The things you might've done differently, you tell yourself. And yet, you must have done something right. The girl you're watching is yours, after all. She's a good mama to those boys. 

You watch the baby stare at her and you long for that sweet gaze again. To be somebody's entire world. It's exhausting and draining but you never felt more needed, more important. It feels like yesterday and a million years ago all at the same time. A quarter of a century ago. You can't believe it. Time is such a thief. 

Time is also a beautiful blessing, you realize as you watch your grandson. He is a hilarious, vivacious child, so full of life and laughter. There aren't many children like this one. Your role as a grandma might just be your favorite one. Mama was...is...the greatest role of your life. But grandma? It's a whole new world of fun and memories to come.