When It Was All Just a Dream ( Pt 4)

This year has been different than previous ones for us. It has been confusing, difficult, frustrating, and overwhelming. It has also been more obvious than ever that God's hand is in our lives every day. We had no idea what we'd do changing our lives so much. Ensign was the only home we'd ever known together. But God has blessed us immensely. Building our lives together and living on not much but faith and love...remember when this was all just a dream?

We're back in our home county now, and it's plain to me that home is wherever you are. I never saw myself living here again, but...as long as I have you and our boys, it doesn't matter much where we are. Having a love and a family like this...remember when it was all just a dream?

I remember being 16 and wondering if I'd ever find where I truly fit. I didn't fit in that well in high school or with any of my friends. But as soon as I met you, I knew I'd found my place. I dreamed of a life where it was just you and I. 

Now I'm never afraid to move somewhere or try something new. I know you're by my side, and God will bless us in all of our adventures, as He always has.

I remember when this was all a dream.

We don't know what we're doing. We have no idea where we'll be in five years or where we even want to be. But we have each other. Remember when it was all just a dream?

We thought we knew exactly what we wanted. But life has a funny way of messing up even the best laid plans. And the Lord has His own plans for us that will become apparent in the near future, I'm sure. I don't think our dreams included all the hard things and obstacles to get over, but I guess the hard things are what make us into the people we're really supposed to be.

This year.. well, it's been a year of growth I suppose. And luckily for us, the only way to go is up. Remember when we used to talk for hours of the life we would build together? We're living it now, love. Whether we like it or not! 

I couldn't ask for a better life or a better home than I have with you. 

In a few years we'll look back at this tough spot, and see how much we've grown. We'll be damn grateful for the trials and the way God steered us in a direction we didn't think we wanted to go. We'll be awed and amazed at where we ended up. And we'll say, remember when this was all just a dream?

Trials

Who have you become because of the trials you've faced?

Sometimes you're going along, feeling strong and confident in yourself, your business, your abilities...

And then there comes soul crushing defeat. Failure. Heart wrenching set backs.

Heart sick is a horrible feeling. It's hard to find hope. It's easy to feel lost. Where can you even go from here? The only thing you can do is take another step forward.

 These sort of events always spur change of some sort. Mostly inner change, and we have to learn how to fail gracefully...learn from our mistakes, or realize that we can't have control over everything. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things still go sideways. And that's okay!

Sometimes, these seemingly crushing disappointments inspire us and lead us to somewhere greater, maybe somewhere completely different than we thought.

One thing you can count on though, is that everyone faces disappointments, heartbreak, and failure at some point. What you choose to do with it is what matters.

If you're in the midst, keep going. This too shall pass. The air will clear and you'll find direction again. You'll look back realizing you're stronger and wiser, and know yourself a little better. Trust the Lord; He's shaping you for the wonderful blessings He has in store. ❤️

XO, The Cowboy's Wife 

Magic

There is so much magic in this. 

In saddling a big roan horse before dawn on a frosty May morning; trotting out in the cool morning light on a spirited mare to gather pairs....

In hearing the cattle call and the new calves bawling as they trail out across the desert.

There is so much magic in the way  a young horse will come in to your hands so willingly, and feeling the unity between horse and rider. 

There is magic in our little community, neighbors helping neighbors, chatting in the branding pen between roping calves, and eating lunch together with dirty, work calloused hands when the branding is through.

There is so much magic in our way of life.. and I feel so blessed to be part of it. 

XO, The Cowboy's Wife 

Her Body is Covered in Stories

Her body is covered in stories.

That scar on her forehead from the time she cracked it open when she was 3.

Plenty of scars on her hands from various wire cuts, knife slips, and rope burns.

The light sprinkle of freckles across her nose, and some on her shoulders, proof of her love for the sunshine.

The faded scar next to her eye from going a little too fast through the oak brush after some stray cows.

The funny scar on her stomach from an obnoxious gelding who took a nip one day.

That patch on her elbow from the day her colt bucked her off... That one reminds her of the nice black eye she received that day along with her broken elbow.

The stretch marks that cover her sides and lower belly, proof of the miracles she's brought into the world; and the C-section scar, a reminder of the life-saving surgeries for both of her babies.

Her body is covered in stories.

At a still-so-young 25 years of age, she's grateful for every single imperfection she's earned, proof of the full life she's lived so far.

And when she's old and grey, she'll show them to her grandkids. She'll tell them the stories that go with them, and why she's so dang proud of her imperfections.

All of the memories of a life well lived are tattooed right there on her skin. She might not keep a journal, but her body is covered in stories.

Avoidance: Not Good For Men or Horses

My husband's theory about riding any horse: don't avoid the things that bother him, it will only make it worse. 

Riding through the trees, he breaks off big branches instead of going around. If he's on a colt who's bothered by the rope, he just keeps playing with it and swinging it til that colt is comfortable.

Shy on the ground? Well, he just marches up to them and does whatever he needs to do. No sneaking around flighty colts for this guy.

I find this theory applies well to people, too. Avoiding uncomfortable subjects or conversations just makes feelings fester and puts more pressure on you.

Avoiding facing your fears will only make you more afraid. 

Avoiding taking the jump you know you should to change your life will only make it that much harder in the long run.

The point of avoidance is, it's all in your head. Just like a colt afraid to cross a stream, whatever the obstacle is in your life is rarely as bad as you think it is. Be bold, and take the jump!

XO, The Cowboy's Wife 

He Is Risen!

What do you do to keep something that's special to you close to your heart? A tattoo that's a special reminder? A necklace with someone's name? A mother's ring to keep your children close to you always? 

Think of how you feel about this special person, or place, or whatever it may be. 

You want to memorialize it. Remember it. Think of it always.

Now think about the Savior. What means the most to Him? I believe it is each of us. How does he keep us close to His heart? He died for you and for me, to save our souls and save us from our sins. He imprinted us on His hands. The scars on His hands, feet, and side are a constant reminder to Him and to us of the unfathomable, incomparable love He has for each and every one of us.

How has the Savior shown His hand in your life? 

He has shown me that he truly, truly knows ME. Parts of me that I hardly know myself. He knows that I'm a sentimental dreamer, and He has shown many times that He knows this about me and CARES about that aspect of my soul. Words aren't enough to depict how that makes me feel. He knows me so well, and getting to know Him has been and continues to be one of the greatest joys of my life.

Because He loves us so much, He died for us, and He is Risen! Because He conquered death, we can grasp eternal life with our loved ones! I can't think of anything more worthy of memorializing and keeping close to our hearts than that. Nobody can ever do more for you than your Savior. Don't forget to remember Him, and find a way to memorialize His saving act in your life. Don't forget to look for all the ways He continues to save you every day. Happy Easter, Ya'll. He is Risen!

XO, The Cowboy's Wife

New Year Goals

After a lot of careful thought, my word for the New Year is Prevail.

This word has a lot of meaning to me in different aspects of my life.

First, I am determined to let the Lord prevail in my daily life. Purposeful seeking out of His word and Spirit will be one of my biggest goals. Temple attendance, scripture study, family home evening will all be things I consider priorities instead of something I know I SHOULD be doing.

Second, my goal is to prevail in whatever I set out to do. I am determined to prevail over my anxiety and occasional depressive moods by stopping the procrastinating, sticking to a good daily routine, and taking care of myself.

I am determined to prevail in my business ventures by having fortitude, determination, and self discipline. This is going to be the year we change our lives for ourselves. The year we make our family stronger and closer. The year we make faith filled and fearless decisions to make our dreams come true. And we will prevail! 

I hope you all prevail in whatever you're facing this year. ❤️

XO, The Cowboy's Wife