To Castle, on His First Birthday

To my sweet Cas on your first birthday,

My little big guy, you have changed my world more than you know. You came into our lives and all of the turmoil and anxiety in me stopped every time I looked at your sweet face. You are still the peace in my days, and I love that you don't ever want me out of your sight. You tag along wherever I go, and your sweet smile and the way you love to snuggle up with me just gives me the calm I need to tamp down my anxious mind. 

You are sweeter than sweet, quiet and mellow. You'll never know how much I need you. More than you'll ever need me, I'm sure. You have changed my heart, and I'm reminded by you to just slow down and enjoy the moment. You play quietly by yourself and I have to stop all the busy things I'm doing and sit down to play with you. You look at me with that little sideways smile, come over and snuggle and give me kisses, and go right back to playing! 

You're so strong, stubborn, and very determined. You're not easily frustrated or upset and I love that these qualities in you remind me so much of your daddy. 

We spent your birthday out at cow camp and you had a blast playing in the dirt and riding the horses around. You sure are a little cowboy, and I love the way you take to a horse like you were born up there.

You adore that big brother of yours, and he loves you so much. He is always trying to help you or play with you and I love the way you two get along. He always calls you his best friend, and I hope you are always that close.

You should always remember who and where you came from. You were named for a very special man in our family, and you bring heaven just that much closer because of that. I know our loved ones watching over us will be proud of who you become.

I know you will be such a special person who does great things in your life. Your loyalty and honesty will take you far. I know that your quiet and thoughtful nature will grow and develop, and you will be an intuitive and sensitive person with a deep love and loyalty for those close to you. 

You are such a special boy, my little Cas. You are the peace and calm in every day, and you will bless so many people with that beautiful soul in your lifetime.

Mama and Daddy love you so much, little big guy. We can't wait to see who you become!

Who Will You Become?

God gave me a dreamer's mentality.

He gave me a belief in big dreams. 

He gave me an inquisitive nature and the desire to look inside myself and those who surround me.

He filled me with the need to know why people think the way they do, including myself. 

He gave me these traits to prepare me for immense personal change. 

He put trials and changes of life before me to change me and mold me for His plan for my life.

He made me a mother so I would know the meaning of sacrifice, fortitude, and persistence. 

He gave me a boy who pushes boundaries and forces me to improve myself in order to teach him to be a good human. 

He gave me the experience of a long and rough pregnancy, full of health issues and fears about my own mortality to teach me that perseverance and leaning on Him are the only ways you get through. But the end result is so worth it.

It was needful for me to go through the fire, through those pressures to help me BECOME. 

To become the person deserving of the blessings He is putting into my life. 

To become the person who can understand the importance of these blessings, and handle the immense responsibilities that come along with them.

To become someone who can forge the way for my family, on the way to our huge dreams. 

To become someone who can help others do the same.

I am proud of the person He is helping me become. I am so grateful for the immense blessings He is putting into my life.

We are all becoming something, whether you're becoming someone better on purpose, or letting life decide for you. In the end, you can look back on your life with pride for who you worked to become, or with regret at all you could've become but never did.

Which will it be for you?

Will you recognize God's hand in your life and His plan for you, and take action?

Or will you do nothing and let life pass you by?

Decide today! Look inside yourself, because that is where change begins.

XO, The Cowboy's Wife

A Long Line of Feral Women

I come from a long line of feral women. Strong-willed, independent thinking women, with strength and fortitude and faith in God.

My great-great grandmothers on my maternal Grandmother's side were SOMETHING.  

Grandma Georgiana had 5 kids in 5 years ya'll. In the early 1900s, she had TWO SETS OF TWINS. This tiny little lady birthed two sets of twins and they all survived. 

She stayed up the night through when all 5 of her kids had whooping cough at the same time, gently shaking them one at a time to help clear the mucus from their lungs. She saved all five of her children.

Her husband was a traveling salesman and she was often alone. She cared for 5 small children with no electricity, no running water, nothing. She had to drive her buggy to town to get water to drink. 

She then had to keep alive 3 wild boys whose main goal in life may have been to drive her up a wall. Running their ponies through the house, playing chicken, and general chaos must have encompassed her days.

My grandma Chloe raised 11 CHILDREN, in a tiny little house in a tiny little town. She also raised two of her grandchildren. She lost a son at 16 from spinal meningitis, and another shortly after he returned from the war and was killed by hitch hikers. 

Grandma Chloe was a midwife and cared for the Native American women on a nearby Reservation. She was patient, caring, and empathetic.

Six of her sons served in the military. Our own little boy is proudly named for one of her sons, Cassell Jennings Lindquist, who was named for the doctor that delivered him.

She had 3 wonderful daughters, one of whom was my grandma Golda. She was quite the woman, and I loved her very much. I have always felt so close to her and often feel her presence in my life. 

My own grandmother is one of the biggest influences in my life. She has taught me to have fortitude, be perseverant and long suffering, to be kind but not put up with crap from anyone. She has taught me to be faithful and hopeful, and also grounded and realistic.

My mother has taught me to be selfless and reliable, honest and empathetic. I have learned service and sacrifice by watching her, and know that her love and patience knows no bounds.

When I am going through something hard, I think of the women I have come from and I remember their strength is a part of me. Grandma Georgia traveling in a buggy with 5 wild kids in tow, running a homestead and keeping everyone alive.

Grandma Chloe, with boundless patience and faith, always looking to serve someone and knowing a lot of things you just have to let go.

Grandma Golda, who always prioritized family above all and raised her children with so much love and gentle correction.

Grandma Kaye, who is as tough and as stubborn as they come, and also the most service oriented and compassionate person I know.

My own mother, who drops everything at a moment's notice for anyone who needs her, and silently and with strength and grace, bears her burdens.

I am proud of the line of women who precede me. I am strong because their blood runs through my veins. I am grateful to be part of a line of feral women, the kind of people who do whatever it takes to make it. The kind of women who never gave up and just kept pushing and trying. 

Because I know their stories, I know who I am. I have deep roots and I feel their guiding hands in my life. 

I come from a long line of feral women. Who do you come from?

XO, The Cowboy's Wife