You are not so little anymore buddy! I have been simultaneously dreading and feeling so excited for this day. I think back to a year ago at exactly this time in the morning, 7:19 am. I hadn't got an epidural yet, and I was probably rolled over on my side holding onto your daddy's hand and shaking with the pain of labor. It would be less than four hours now until I met you.
The first time I heard your cry it was so familiar to me, even though I'd never heard it before. I knew you. On a level I had never known anyone before.
I remember when I was a few months along with you I went into full blown panic mode. We were only married a month when I got pregnant with you, and I didn't think I was ready. How could I be a mother when I barely knew how to be a wife? Your daddy sat up with me half the night calming me down and reassuring me that I would be a great mother. After all, he reasoned, look at all the pups I'd raised. Couldn't be much different, right?! Sound cowboy logic.
Baby boy, when you came into this world, it changed me for good. It changed my heart, it changed the way I see the world, it changed the way I see your daddy (in the best way!). I hope you know that you make me such a better person. You're everything I want to be wrapped into a tiny dynamite of a little boy.
Your big dimpled smile with those six little teeth melt me into mush. They could melt the hardest heart. You make me smile and laugh constantly. You are my motivation for most everything I do. I hope you also know how special you are. Everyone thinks their kids are the most special people, but trust me, it's true in your case. Everywhere we go without you, people ask us,
"Where's the life of the party?!"
Several people have told me that when you smile at them, it makes them feel like the most special person in the world. Your love for everyone you see is inspiring to me. You're too small yet to know about the bad, but I hope you keep seeing the good in people your whole life long. I hope you use those gifts of making people feel so special for good.
You came at a perfect time. Not just for your daddy and me, but for everyone. Your great-grandpa and grandma Crane love you more than anything in the world. I can just see their spirits lift when you're around. They mean the world to me, and I'm more than grateful you're getting to know them in this life.
You've given your grandparents something new to bond over at a time when they were not looking forward to being empty nesters. They just adore you, and I adore the way they love seeing each other as grandparents.
You've given your aunt and uncle a baby to love at a time when they're unable to have their own, just yet. They're like second parents to you, and they love you. So. Much.
You've given this mama so much more purpose. My horses and cowboying have always been my biggest passion. I never thought that could come second to anything on that scale, until you came along. I can't wait to share this lifestyle and my passion with you. I hope you love it just as much as your daddy and I do.
You've given both your daddy and I reasons to be better. Because of you, we were sealed in the Lord's holy temple as a forever family. Because of you, we grew up and are becoming the people we've always wanted to be.
I love you and your wild spirit, little guy. You are rough and tumble, you are stubborn and like to do things your own way. That wild streak you have? It runs in your blood. It puts a fire in your soul you can never put out. Just remember to use it for good.
You are God's greatest gift to me. I could never thank Him enough times for sending me you. You are everything that I never knew I needed. You make my life that much more enjoyable. You keep me young, and you keep me laughing. You're our favorite treasure, little guy. Happy one year of life. ❤
